We have a rabbit problem. Mostly, the little rodents keep eating my delicious organic backyarden (I just made up that word and I fully expect it to take off) and leaving their poop behind. I have yet to take in the rewards of lettuce, spinach, or the larger strawberries. I am the embodiment of daily frustration, and you can frequently find me running around the fenced-in backyard, chasing a grey blur through the weeds and kid toys, hoping to find their secret entrance THIS TIME. Jerks.
BUT.
This circumstance works in the after-world of the Zombie Apocalypse. Assuming teeny little rabbits and their equally destructive brethren, the squirrel, are not phased by the plague, they can most likely outrun the lumbering undead. Unplug the holes under the fence and open that garden as a Small Furry Livestock Salad Buffet. With luck, you have container gardens at that point (if you are planning to hunker down and stay a while) so what they eat won't affect what is left for you to eat. All you need for a scrumptious* rabbit or squirrel stew are the game. Time to set the traps (because you don't want to waste ammo.)
How to make a homemade rabbit trap
How to make a squirrel trap
Once you've caught a couple rabbits and a few squirrels, it's time to start the pot.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup of vinegar**
1 tsp. of mixed spices
1 small diced onion
a few celery leaves
2 diced carrots
2 diced onions
salt and pepper to taste.
(A little good wine, optional)
Directions for preparing game:
To take away the too-wild taste of rabbits and squirrels, soak them overnight in salt water in proportion of 1/2 tsp salt to 1 qt. water. Rabbits may be cut up, covered with brine, and kept in a cool place several days. Rabbit started this way is extremely tender and has a fine flavor.
Directions for stew:
Cut in pieces for serving. Put in saucepan with 1/2 cup of vinegar, 1 tsp. mixed spices, 1 small diced onion and a few celery leaves. Cover with water. Let stand 2-3 hrs. Drain. Place in roasting pan. Brown in moderate oven (375 degrees F). Add salt and pepper to taste. Add 2 diced onions, and 2 diced carrots (truthfully, any veggie will be a welcome accompaniment). Cover with water, and cook slowly until tender. Thicken broth until consistency of thick cream.
source: Betty Owens, Springville, Indiana
* I should note that the very idea of trapping and killing squirrels and rabbits currently makes me feel queasy and ill. I would entirely expect to hear the Law & Order theme during the hunt. So this is not a tried recipe. However, in the event of an apocalypse where food is scarce, I'd likely change my opinion on the matter rather quickly. Unless they became teeny harbingers of walking death, but let's pretend they don't for the sake of this blog.
**VINEGAR! See? It's a staple.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Sick days
We've been battling bugs from hell around the house this week. Not the kind that turns everyone into cannibalistic undead, just chickenpox. And let's face it, a zombie apocalypse (any apocalypse for that matter) isn't going to prevent OTHER germs from attacking. But it reminded me of a key supply every household should have. Good old vinegar.
There have been a milliondy helpful emails and facebook shares touting the useful benefits of a simple jug of vinegar. The best benefit this week has been its sanitizing properties. Will it decontaminate someone splattered in fresh zombie blood? Not sure about that promise. But I can say that it will tackle the more basic germs and bacteria. Without poisoning everyone. Then you can save the bleach for water purification (ooh boy, bleachy goodness) and true decontamination.
Here are all the exciting things you do with WonderVinegar:
Sanitize/Deodorize
Make a solution of vinegar, water, dish soap, orange or lemon peel, and lemon juice (4:2:1:1:1 concentration) to a spray bottle. Can be used anywhere: countertops; high chairs; bathrooms; floors; open wounds; insect repellent
Relief from Heartburn
For relief of heartburn or acid indigestion, take one or two tablespoons of balsamic vinegar.
Soothe a bee or jellyfish sting
Douse with vinegar. It will soothe irritation and relieve itching.
Relieve sunburn
Lightly rub white distilled or cider vinegar on skin. Reapply as needed.
Relieve dry and itchy skin
Add 2 tablespoons of vinegar to your bath water.
Fight dandruff
After shampooing, rinse with a solution of ½ cup vinegar and 2 cups of warm water.
Soothe a sore throat
Put a teaspoon of vinegar in a glass of water. Gargle, then swallow. For another great gargle: 1 cup hot water, 2 tablespoons honey, 1 teaspoon vinegar, gargle then drink.
Treat sinus infections and chest colds
Add 1/4 cup or more vinegar to the vaporizer. (Be sure to check vaporizer instructions for additional water measurement.)
Skin burns
Apply ice-cold vinegar right away for fast relief. Will prevent burn blisters.
Chest congestion
To clear up respiratory congestion, inhale a vapor mist from steaming pot containing water and several spoonfuls of vinegar.
Arthritis Relief
Mix a teaspoon of half apple cider vinegar, half honey in a glass of water with a teaspoon of orange flavored Knox gelatin.
Lessen Morning Sickness
Drink some apple cider vinegar in water, with honey added. This concoction can help calm a queasy stomach.
Stop Itching
Apply a paste made from vinegar and cornstarch. Keep on until itch disappears.
Cleaning Heavily Soiled Hands
Moisten cornmeal with apple cider vinegar. Scrub hands, rinse in cold water and pat dry.
Hiccups
1 tsp vinegar stops hiccups immediately
Coughing
Homemade cough medicine: Relieve cough by mixing one-half cup Apple Cider Vinegar, one-half cup water, one-teaspoon cayenne pepper, and four teaspoons honey. Take one tablespoon when cough acts up. Take another tablespoon at bedtime.
Cleaning
Remove tough stains. Gently rub on fruit, jam, mustard, coffee, tea, zombie gore. Then wash as usual.
Most of the above tips (and more) from http://versatilevinegar.org/usesandtips.html and http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art1485.asp
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Well, well, well...
So you wake up to discover your next door neighbor in his front yard, eating the sanitation guy. While your neighbor isn't exactly the most savvy individual, this behavior is a tad out of character.
The zombie apocalypse has begun. Crap. There go your dinner reservations.
After boarding up your windows and securing the futon mattress tightly on the sliding glass door, it's time to take inventory of your food supply and plan dinner. One that doesn't include brains, preferably.
Not knowing if the zombification virus has infected animals, it's probably best to stick to a vegetarian diet for the time being (unless you have stored meat in your freezer, in which case, eat this first before it thaws. Also, protein, protein, protein. Just don't let the neighbor smell it cooking.) Let's assume you haven't been planning for this for years and always have a full stock of edibles and versatile, non-perishable ingredients on hand. Let's assume you do not have any meat stored. Let's assume you haven't been to the store this week. Let's assume your pantry is relatively barren. Until the first wave has run its course, you can't go foraging. It's far too dangerous.
What do you do? INVENTORY.
Do you have a fenced backyard? Do you have a garden (you should, at the very least, have a container garden, it's totally hip right now)? What's in your pantry? Take full inventory of all your resources. If you have running water (still), fill any large containers, sinks and bathtubs with water. If the supply line gets shut off, you will need it. But I wouldn't use it for tonight's meal. Save it for later.
For tonight's meal, quick veggie casserole (with no heat). This recipe uses ingredients people usually tend to have on hand most of the time. Grab any canned veggies from the pantry, along with crackers or crispy onions, mayo, creamed soup, and any cheese. Mix drained veggies, mayo, cheese, and soup in a bowl and pour into a glass dish. Crumble crackers or crispy onions on top. If you have a working oven, cook for fifteen mins. If not, it's entirely edible as-is.
While it's not gourmet, it is a ton of protein and calories that you may very likely need to burn very soon, especially if you don't have a lot of grocery supplies.
If you happen to have fresh veggies in the fridge, you can sub those, though they will be crispier than the canned version, unless you have a nice, sunny, minimally-boarded window to allow to sun-cook (preferably on the second floor). Save all seeds to plant in containers for future meals. If you have to flee, take the seeds with you. You may have the opportunity to plant them down the road.
If you are one of those people who "hate veggies!" or think this sounds super gross, take heart, you might be eating totally meaty brains soon. Seriously... Now might be a good time to learn to like veggies. They are your friends.
Bon Appetit.
The zombie apocalypse has begun. Crap. There go your dinner reservations.
After boarding up your windows and securing the futon mattress tightly on the sliding glass door, it's time to take inventory of your food supply and plan dinner. One that doesn't include brains, preferably.
Not knowing if the zombification virus has infected animals, it's probably best to stick to a vegetarian diet for the time being (unless you have stored meat in your freezer, in which case, eat this first before it thaws. Also, protein, protein, protein. Just don't let the neighbor smell it cooking.) Let's assume you haven't been planning for this for years and always have a full stock of edibles and versatile, non-perishable ingredients on hand. Let's assume you do not have any meat stored. Let's assume you haven't been to the store this week. Let's assume your pantry is relatively barren. Until the first wave has run its course, you can't go foraging. It's far too dangerous.
What do you do? INVENTORY.
Do you have a fenced backyard? Do you have a garden (you should, at the very least, have a container garden, it's totally hip right now)? What's in your pantry? Take full inventory of all your resources. If you have running water (still), fill any large containers, sinks and bathtubs with water. If the supply line gets shut off, you will need it. But I wouldn't use it for tonight's meal. Save it for later.
For tonight's meal, quick veggie casserole (with no heat). This recipe uses ingredients people usually tend to have on hand most of the time. Grab any canned veggies from the pantry, along with crackers or crispy onions, mayo, creamed soup, and any cheese. Mix drained veggies, mayo, cheese, and soup in a bowl and pour into a glass dish. Crumble crackers or crispy onions on top. If you have a working oven, cook for fifteen mins. If not, it's entirely edible as-is.
While it's not gourmet, it is a ton of protein and calories that you may very likely need to burn very soon, especially if you don't have a lot of grocery supplies.
If you happen to have fresh veggies in the fridge, you can sub those, though they will be crispier than the canned version, unless you have a nice, sunny, minimally-boarded window to allow to sun-cook (preferably on the second floor). Save all seeds to plant in containers for future meals. If you have to flee, take the seeds with you. You may have the opportunity to plant them down the road.
If you are one of those people who "hate veggies!" or think this sounds super gross, take heart, you might be eating totally meaty brains soon. Seriously... Now might be a good time to learn to like veggies. They are your friends.
Bon Appetit.
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